Because consistency is such a prized attribute in baseball, Giants principal owner Charles B. Johnson should be voted into the Hall of Fame immediately. If he doesn’t get enough votes, the election was totally rigged, and you should grab your can of bear spray and head to Cooperstown to protest.
Johnson is Old Reliable. You can count on him to donate money — he has earned millions by doing nothing as his Giants appreciated in value — to campaign funds of candidates who seek to overturn legal, democratic elections. And count on him then to say he didn’t realize what he was doing, apologize and promise to be more careful, then do the same thing again. And again.
This guy is so deep into his vicious cycle of lather-rinse-repeat that he might never get out of the shower.
This time, Johnson donated to the U.S. Senate campaign of Nevada politician Adam Laxalt, SFGATE reported. (SFGATE and The San Francisco Chronicle are both owned by Hearst but operate independently.) He sought to overturn the 2020 Presidential election through several lawsuits that were Dikembo Mutombo’d by the courts.
Laxalt embarrassed himself by presenting two voting-fraud witnesses who were quickly exposed as frauds themselves. Yet Laxalt promises to pursue the same fictional route next time, to succeed where he failed in 2020, and he has got the Giants’ owner’s money in his pocket.
Johnson’s apologists blame his campaign-donation follies on his age. He is 89. No doubt he will apologize again for backing yet another dangerous kook. The apology will arrive any day now, via Pony Express.
At Oracle Park next season, if there is a season, there should be a sign over every beer stand: “Drink Democracy away.”
Deep thoughts, cheap shots & bon mots ...
• If Brian Flores gets another head-coaching job, here’s what he can do to prove that he has the courage of his convictions, and to shake up the league: Sign Colin Kaepernick. As a backup, because he’ll be rusty. Make that part of your hiring deal. Otherwise, you’re just part of the blackball.
• Is it possible that 49ers coach Kyle Shanahan is a genius inventor of offensive schemes, but a lousy play-caller? That would explain a lot of his in-game decisions, and the fact that he put QB Trey Lance in mothballs this season because he said using Lance in certain situations would upset his (Shanahan’s) play-calling rhythm.
• George Kittle said the Rams came at the 49ers with a dramatically different defensive approach in the NFC title game. Trent Williams said the Rams came at the 49ers with a dramatically different defense, stacking the box to stop the run. Shanahan said, “(The Rams) switched up a little bit.” I’m going with the Kittle/Williams version of events. I think they would know.
• Paging George Kittle. In the 49ers’ last six games, Kittle caught 15 passes for 168 yards and one touchdown. Before that, in one game, at Cincinnati, he caught 13 passes for 151 yards. He confessed to nursing a lower-body injury, but man, that’s a steep falloff in production by the guy who is really your offense’s most dangerous weapon.
• If the TV tech people can put a first-down line across the field on your TV screen, why can’t that be done at the stadium, using lasers or whatever? Get rid of the chain gang. If there’s blue (or red) light on the ball, first down.
• SoFi Stadium is a beautiful place, but for this first-time observer, born and raised in Los Angeles, there was one jarring sight. The stadium designers, in homage to the cultural heritage of Los Angeles, named one concession stand “Olvera Street,” after the city’s tiny historical street that dates back 200 years. But the gleaming chrome food stand looks more like a hospital cafeteria.
• Washington Commanders? Weak. Coach Ron Rivera and the team’s GM wanted a military-sounding nickname, thus Commanders. But who are the toughest, grittiest guys in the army? The privates.
• Also overlooked as a Washington, D.C., team nickname: the Foggy Bottoms.
• A Commander? To some old-timers, reader Kevin Love reminds us, a Commander is a Philip Morris cigarette back in the 1960s. The TV commercial jingle was, “Have a Commander, welcome aboard!” Selling point: A special vacuum “gently cleans every bit of tobacco.” You still got lung cancer, but it was a tidy lung cancer. And when you checked into the hospital, they welcomed you aboard.
• Speaking of the military, credit is due to the sports-star anti-vaxxers like Aaron Rodgers, Kyrie Irving and Novak Djokovic for keeping our military busy. My mom was in a hospital in Eugene, Ore., for a heart procedure. Her meals were served by National Guard soldiers, helping fill manpower shortages caused by sick non-vaxxers clogging hospitals. Hey, Aaron and friends: Have a Commander, welcome aboard.
Scott Ostler is a San Francisco Chronicle columnist. Email: sostler@sfchronicle.com Twitter: @scottostler
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